Self-Assessment

Blogging is a weird thing. It's a good outlet and at the same time it's a pain. "Don't forget to blog!" "Remember to blog about your shadow self". At the same time, for me, blogging was one of the best things about this semester . Freshman year is so complex and blogging helped me to compromise between my life and my schoolwork. If something was on my mind or i just needed to go on a creative rant, i could do that, and then get serious about school. I really wish i had been able to put up more pictures of myself. Besides that, I'm completely content with the work I have accomplished. The pictures that I did post i absolutely love and the blogs that i posted were real and came from somewhere deep inside myself that i wasn't sure would come out when i came to college.

Green Eyes and Hot Chocolate

"grande java chip frappucino"
The change drips slowly from my hand to her palm. I stare expectantly over her shoulder to the next coffee addict.

"tall caramel machiatto with an extra shot"

He throws down a twenty, scratching his fat head impatiently. I slop change into his grip and ignore his obnoxious aura. One hour to go. Starbucks empties on a Tuesday afternoon. I rest my chin on my coffee-scented hand and stare out the front windows onto Hempstead Turnpike. Yippy private school kids skip by munching on McDonald's fries, sipping sodas. The hormonal freshman boys satellie around young, rosy-cheeked girls, searching for any hopeful signal. Being boys and girls used to be so simple. Or maybe i was just too complicated and idiotic for him... I come back into focus on a nearing figure. Oh God help me, did he see me staring like an idiot? He definitely didn't miss me falling into my desk yesterday in Philosphy. Wow his eye are really green. I barely know this kid, why do i feel so... vulnerable. Maybe the fact that I havent been available in... forever!
"Hey"
"Hi, how can i help you?"
"I just need a sec, I don't come here much"
I knew i hadn't seen him in here before. How do you flirt? It's been so long-
"Any suggestions?"
He turned a bright smiling face to mine. I realized then that he had one of those smiles that makes you smile even when you don't want to, or when you are trying to play it cool and act smooth.
"The new flavors of hot chocolate we have in are my personal favorite."
"I'll have that then."
I handed him his drink but he lingered.
"We're in Philosophy together."
I nodded yes. I knew what this meant. He was interested. But was I? After the last time I had sworn not to let someone into my life like that again. It was too risky on both parts. But there was something about his face. Honesty. There was something there that could be trusted. His eyes seemed to pull me out of the dark corner i had retreated into. He invite me to lived again.

Diner Talk

Diners are stereotypically loud places. It's kind of funny how you only notice that when you enter and when you leave. Some random diner in Rockville Centre. Forum for political discussions, social debates, touchy reunions, messy seperations, stage for adolescent drama.

We all nestled into our corner booth, inspecting a menu identical all across America. She looked at him and he at her and they discussed some hilarious happening from days past. I still searched for surprise in predictability. We soon began a chorus of conversation. All was easy. All our problems drifted away like the steam off a hashbrown.

I theorized that if you are coming off the high of a good weekend then you will be content in the coming week. If i must define a good weekend, it is one where nothing dramatic occurs and you simply enjoy existence. A weekend when you just enjoy living.

Our talk flowed freely from gossip, to books, to friends. As the night slowly came to an end, the clattering flatware and spying waitresses came back into focus. We parted ways, but at the same time we were closer.

PICNIK

just posted pics from my cousin's wedding :D

Sleeping Giant Mountain

we climb atop the giants back
moving on, never giving slack
we scale the steep, rocky terrain
our adrenaline quieting our pain
and soon it becomes not about our goal
but the thrill of the chase, it feeds our souls
Onward between trees we weave and wind
another path left behind
We've reached the peak and are mezmerized
seeing through the sleeping giants eyes
Big broccoli heads of yellow red and green
blanket the land leaving nothing else to be seen
Our time on the sleeping giant was far too short
but sooner or later, our mission, we had to abort
Hopping down the cleavage of the mountain side
hoping to return and once again see through the giant's eyes.

Inner child?

Just a normal extremely busy day in my life. I rarely stop to take in a moment. Come to think of it though, something important happened. I had an encounter with my inner child. It was so subtle that i barely realized it. i didn't recognize that natural part of me that had been buried under standardized tests, peer pressure, and master prommissory notes.
I teach a jazz/hip-hop class for 6 year olds consisting basically of hopping around to a Hannah Montana dance mix for 45 minutes. I was NOT in the mood. I just got out of work, applied for my passport, got to work on getting my student loans in order; i was a responsible young ADULT today, and this dance class seemed an utter waste of my precious minutes.
However, being a young adult, i had to grin and bear it, it was my OBLIGATION. My dance teacher sensed my uptightness and encouraged me in her broken English "Be free, Jessica, be like a child, have fun!" She was right, i did need to loosen up or this 45 minutes really would be a waste.
As i walked into the studio the expecting eyes of the little girls waited to be amazed. Yea, right...what to do.... jump around? "Alright guys, shake it out!" I wiggled around and they followed, giggling but getting the idea. I wriggled out of my grown-up shell. As we danced on i found myself envious of these 6 year olds. They really were free. They sang out loud, jumped around, they did what they felt. As the class went on i found myself lowering my guard. There was no one around to judge or critique. Not a single weird look thrown my way, no "constructive criticism", not a thought of whether i was doing something right or wrong. I wasn't Jessica Volpe, I was Jessie. My inner child made an appearance.
I can't remember the last time i truly felt this way. I am passionate about dance. It is something that i love to do. But it is so easy to get caught up in technique and honing skills that you forget to let yourself go, to let the music pull you this way and that and not care if you make a mistake or even a silly face. Dance is about expressing yourself, and I'd forgotten that.

Thoughts Before Bed

Staring blankly at my curtains,
I can't think with my eyes shut
restless, restless,
In Theology my eye won't open,
In my bed they cannot close,
how annoying!
Tomorrow, tomorrow,
So much to do before the weekend.
Nails, dress, shoes, tan,
MONEY MONEY MONEY
I really can't afford all of this
Melissa is coming up from Georgia this weekend,
No time to hang out, blah!
where has my life gone?!
Family coming up for the wedding.
Lay on my side,
flip my pillow,
turn onto my back,
hands over head, under blanket,
So tired.....
~Rrringgg~
......stupid alarm!

FLICKR

my first batch of photos is in flickr :D

Flickr

So i'm completely fed up with this blogger thing only letting me upload pics "when it feels like it". I've had enough! I made a flickr account and i'm just going to post whenever i update the pics :) SOLUTION!

Highway 61 Revisited

so this pic would be crazy bob dylan hurling a brick at nothing,

what a nut!

Supposedly Russo gave us Bob Dylan songs based on our personality but i really don't see the purpose in mine, Highway 61 Revisited. It is a bunch of random occasions where someone has some issue and someone else tells them to take their problems out to Highway 61. That's basically it.
I tried to do some research on it and did not come up with much. People thought that the "highway" was a reference for hitting a good vein when you're shooting up i guess, i don't really know much about that. This would mean pretty much that Dylan is suggesting drug use as the cure to problems.
In the first stanza Dylan describes Abraham (Abe) sacrificing his son. Bob Dylan's father's name was Abe so some sources suggested this to be symbolistic of Dylan's dad.
There are also assumptions made about the significance of Highway 61. Highway 61 is said to run through the places where blues, folk, and rock really got their start. It is also nearby where Dylan grew up.
No review i read suggested any real message within the song. I didn't really come up with anything either. I haven't really been able to get into the whole Bob Dylan thing but this song was pretty good, it didn't put me to sleep.

Sinking

Life's waters are thick and opaque,

I struggle to stay awake.

The current thrusts me about more than i can bear,

I flail and fail and remain drowning there.

Ripping winds of change blind my sight,

As i go under, how much longer can i fight?

In the dark sea there is no direction,

Is there any possible resurrection?

Then out of midnight you appeared,

Luminous against all of my dangerous fears.

My salvation from the wreckage, you guided me aboard,

and in your warm arms, my safe haven was restored.

Time of Freedom

Tides of wind swept the coral ocean of my dress,
millions of pins in my hair feeling distress.
I'd heard the calls behind me to slow down,
all i left were my prints on the ground.
I met the waves on shore as I gasped for air,
my lungs were closing but i'd met my heart there.
A panorama streamed beyond of fuschia and gray,
i stood by while my yearning eyes begged them to stay.
Only I understood my flight to the end of the world,
running down a beach to a sunset, a foolish girl.

I'll Just Say It...

I don't really know who i am...
really, i don't
i feel like i can be whatever i want to be
i can be whatever other people want me to be
in a way i just mold to situations
sitting alone in my room, it's hard for me to pinpoint who i really am

i'm nice
i'm really mean
i could care less about what you have to say
i want to know more about you
do i really care about people or do i just ask to make them feel better?
It's a battle within myself, CONSTANT
i'm mean then i counter it with nice
I'm nice then i grow weary of it and i'm mean

what kind of person am i?
is this the definiton of bipolar or human?

what are the constants...

i am honest and when i'm not i hate it, i hate lying
always sarcastic
always overthinking
easygoing
i can definitely dish it but i most certainly cannot take it
i have a hard time expressing real emotion (hate that about myself)
i tend to show off (hate that too)


that's enough self-analysis for now

Unmoving

I need a change

it's strange

that i need a change

of scenery

I need a change

to test my range

perhaps a change

of pace

I need a change

should i rearrange

to have a change

of mind

I need a change

people to estrange

in order to change

my influences.

Time of Collision: a true story

all so sudden

first i'm wondering how i'm possibly babysitting the Demarcos

then all of a sudden a big CRUSHHHHH

i blanked out

when i realized what happened i thought i was imagining it all

it was like i was shell shocked

"hello...HELLO... Jess?... Hello?"

I looked up to see smoke clouding my sight

I saw the car in front of me pull away

hit the brake

put the car in park

move..... MOVE!... why aren't you moving?!

can i move?

i look at my hands blankly

i'm confused

no no no no no

NO NO NO

SHIT

oh my God

these fumes smell funny

It's all over my hands

i'm going to suffocate

get out of the car now, you're fine

i grab my cell phone off the deflated passenger side airbag

"Miss, are you ok?"

"Are you alright?!"

i nodded

I couldn't stop shaking

I started to pant uncontrollably

what happened?

where's the other car?

maybe he just went away

please just go away

no one else is involved

i'm hyperventilating

i can't breathe

i feel like my stomach is going to pop out of my skin

"C'mon, sit down, calm down"

i sit, it helps

i can't sit

our insurance won't cover this

kates already had two accidents

omg this is all my fault

how did this happen!

how did i do that

i'm so stupid!

how was i not paying attention?

i didn't even see it

o god

"Ma'am can you please tell me what happened?"

i squeaked and couldn't talk

every time i opened my mouth i started to cry

i couldn't speak without breaking down

comforting people

"miss how is your heart, is your heart alright?"

i'm such an idiot

waves of anxiety kept rising as i kept suppressing

i wished i was alone in my room so i could cry

once i start i can't stop

they're all being so nice but i can see in their eyes

they wish they could be mad

calm down calm down calm down

i don't know what to do

i don't know what to do

all i did was glance at my phone

i'd had a missed call

must've pressed send on accident

does jenn demarco know?

did she hear the crash?

how did this happen..........

ah, my hand is burned


--i'm not looking for sympathy or anything here, but no one ever writes this kind of stuff and it made me feel better about the whole thing. and fyi i did not "black" out in the beginning there, i just didn't realize what had happened, but i really feel i can only describe it as "blanking" out, that's what it felt like.--

Belly of the Beast

what the hell does that mean!? i tried to look it up and had no luck. it's times like this that i really don't like this whole blogging thing.

The challenge posed was to express a time when you were out of control.

FYI PEOPLE i don't get out of control ever. It's a fact and it's just my nature, SERIOUSLY. I suppress EVERYTHING. I've never punched someone out of sheer anger. I don't think I've ever used over 3 profanities in a sentence. I think I may have hit my sister in a fight ONCE... then cried about it and apologized later.

I asked my family if they could recall any instance in which i demonstrated uncontrolled anger or whatever. There were only two. I threatened to run away ONCE when i was 12 or something, just down the block, no less. I had been absolutely serious although now i can't even recall my logic for it. I do remember feeling like absolute crap about it later though because i had made my mom cry. The other time was when i got mad at my little sister for making noise when i repeatedly told her not too. i was probably 13 or 14. She just wouldn't stop, so i threw my textbooks on the dining room table and screamed at her, what i screamed i don't know. It couldn't have been that bad, i probably didn't even know that many bad words at the time, i don't even recall using any in this instance.

I must be the most masochistic person alive because i've never really taken my rage out on anyone except on my own psyche. Don't get me wrong, i will project my feelings on other. People know when i'm having a bad day. But if someone pisses me off, I will not make a confrontation out of it. I might make a few wise remarks and the person will understand that i don't like them, or don't agree with them. But i'm always under control. Always in check. It all stays in me. In my head, that person who pissed me off just got the beating of their life. Is that weird, sadistic? i can't say for sure but that's just how i work.

This is not to say i don't show emotion. I cry when something is sad and i laugh when something is funny. Maybe i'm scared. I've tried to let go before. I've imagined it. I got into a car accident two days ago and it was the most surreal experience of my life. When i got out of the car I was just going crazy. I must have looked it too, i must have looked insane. I just wandered aimlessly on the sidewalk, looking at the damage, ignoring all the concerned people, wondering how this happened, all the while fighting an urge. That was my problem. I was having an anxiety attack inside but i couldn't speak. I couldn't communicate it to anyone. Even when the cops came i could barely squeak out my name without breaking down. Why can't i break? break myself? I remember thinking how much i just wanted to get something out, ANYTHING, but there were no words for it. At the same, something was keeping me under control, something kept me from tearing at the seams. I was just not physically or mentally capable of doing anything rash.

I get this from my father. He is never mad or raged, he is stern. Always calm. I can recall a time i was in the passenger seat and my friend was driving us somewhere she'd never been before. She almost drove into oncoming traffic at one point and she freaked out. We were fine. We pulled onto where we were supposed to be. But all i remember was her shrieking "Oh my God!" and i just directed her "Stop, now pull over there." what the hell is wrong with me!? we could have died! I'm just so rational.

I remember another thing from the car accident: my resounding conscience, that's what i'm calling it anyway. Immediately after the impact i just sat in there in the car, inhaling the gross fumes, taking account of what had happened and coming to the terrifying realization of it all. I was freaking out. but simultaneously, a voice of reason in the back of my head said "stop the car... put it in park... get out of the car... don't get hit by oncoming traffic...".

I think i've come to something. I live in my head. No i'm not crazy. But i think over everything and act accordingly. I analyze things. I think it through. Like i said before, when i came close to breaking, i couldn't. That would not be me. Being unbreakable is me.

I've been thinking. You know what, screw you Russo and your creative course. I AM creative and i don't need you to approve that! You tell us all to show our inner shadow self, like we all have one that just lurking inside of us, waiting to pounce and shoot up the local mini mart. How dare you presume that i don't exist, a rational being. You might say that this little paragraph is my shadow self but that's not true. Honestly, i don't really resent you Doctor Russo. I'm not really offended. I accept you're way of thinking. Why don't you accept mine?..........

this rant has done nothing but utterly confuse me. Maybe i do have an inner shadow self but inside of me is where it belongs. that's why it's INNER! maybe i'll blog more about this later and make sense of it all. Will this ever make sense? Does it have to make sense? why don't i just shut up...

Inspiration

Inspiration... inspired... to be inspired... who inspires me? Between high school essays, college applications, and other random occasion of writing, I feel I've been asked this question a million times. This should be easy. But for some reason it's not. My mom, of course. My dad, yes. I want to take it a little further.

To say that my five year old sister, Hannah, inspires me would be completely true. Kids are a weird breed. They jump around like maniacs provoked for no apparent reason. They yell when it is clearly unnecessary. They ask questions they already know the answer to. Children can sometimes be very senseless beings. But why is that? Based on what I've said so far you could probably make a case of mental instability; kids are just kids, they're crazy! And then they grow out of it.

Obviously I'm going somewhere else with this. Yes, I am inspired by my little sister because of all of the above (her craziness? no). But what does Hannah have that I don't? Or should I say what does she NOT have to that I do? Worries! She has care-free life! She can laugh, cry, sing, dance, and speak whenever she feels the need. When did I lose that? When did my childhood clock time out? When will her's?

Everyday when I come home from work or school, Hannah is home with my mom and brother. What she may do when i get home is unkown until she does it. There is no prelude. She will plunge into a story about her day, or attempt a front hand spring right at my feet, or thrust a new project at me that she completed that day. She doesn't wonder if I had a bad day at work. She could care less whether I had enough money to fill my gas tank. Hannah cares about the here and now. Just sitting there and relaxing is not an option. She is a very literal interpretation of carpe diem, SIEZE THE DAY! Seize the moment, before it's gone. A little girl like Hannah will not try to make you upset. She wants to share her experiences with you. Showing the world her self is important! In a way, she won't think about where you've been; she only cares about is where you are now.

Maybe a child is not exactly thinking in these terms. A child may be thinking me me me. But that is just it. Hannah inspires me to be care free. I should think in terms of MYSELF and not others. Who cares if i laugh when no one else does or have a different opinion. When in our lives do we forget to think for ourselves? Hannah reminds me to do that everyday.

writer's block

once there was a girl who lived in a closet.

no light, no fresh air, only daily food that sustained her.

she was locked in.

on lock-down

no crack of light invited her from the door

no way out

what is there to explore in the dark?

on lock-down

her thoughts are frozen

oh to think

to think

of what?

all is dark

all is quiet

there is nothing

to see

to feel

to smell

nothing new

have to get out

there is a door

how will she open it?

she must... think

though it seems forever since she has done this

have to get out

turn the knob

the door is no more

darkness dissipates and her eyes adjust to the new world

the barrier is gone

she sees

she feels

rain sun light color vibrancy texture soft hard green pink blue white red brown airplane car

all is beautiful when you have been in the dark for so long

my writer's block is gone....

Reading Room (NYC Library)

Tiny vibrations rattle the room,

besides that, not a thing moves.

Still eyes search books and screens,

a quest for enlightenment,

a chase for a seemingly hopeless ending,

a cramming of data into the mind.

The sheen of copper lamp shades hover over tables,

they dimly light the way to self-discovery.

hey, why not a book review?

You can't judge a book by its cover. Conveniently, I really am talking about a book. Who hasn't heard of the Stephenie Meyer series Twilight? Oh yes that is what I'm talking about. Some who read this may have just felt a flutter in their stomach at the thought of Edward Cullen. Others may have just thrown up a little bit in their mouth. Nonetheless, this is my topic. I'm going to try to even the score on this book.

Let me start by saying that I hated the Twilight books to begin with. Oh how I hated the stupid facebook bumper stickers. "Edward Cullen, BITE ME!" "I love Twilight!" Blah blah blah. Very bluntly, I thought the book sounded like the dumbest thing ever. Girl falls in love with a vampire but... he's a vampire! Whatever. They love eachother but he's going to live forever and she's not, and when is he going to suck her blood. This was my logic. I thought a stupid mainstream book like this was totally not worth my time.

Needless to say I ended up reading the first book, Twilight. I'm not going to say that I've been converted, that i've seen the light and the genius of this book. Frankly, I don't think it's a work of art or anything. No real revelations here. I'm also not saying that it sucks either. I liked it... alright, I liked it a lot :D It's is a very good book! It's good because it doesn't feel like you are reading a vampire book. i wouldn't even label it as that. It is more of a romance, a drama, an adventure. They rarely even refer to sucking blood or even use the term vampire. And I must admit that the Edward Cullen character is attractive but the mania around him is just too much.

I would recommend this book for any girl who is looking for a good, easy read. Guys may not be too psyched about it though. It did not take me that long to get through and I'm happy I did. It really did keep me turning pages. Apparently they're coming out with a movie of this book in November and I read an article that hints at sequals too. I hope you guys don't judge this book like I did because you just may be missing a good read.

haikus at west end beach....

sand in between toes

my pedicure is ruined

now one with nature

(This is about my professor)

his loafers on shore

water and sand drench his khakis

now free to create

Russo's Challenge

What is your favorite word?
In 10th grade I learned the word transcend. We were studying writers like Emerson and Thoreau who were described as Trandscendental writers. The word meant a lot for me because I had always deeply respected people who managed to rise above the norm, to beat the odds, transcend all the doubt.

What is your least favorite word?
I don't think I have one

What turns you on, excites, or inspires you creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
I'm creatively inspired by new experiences. When I try something new I like to absorb what I can and think about it a lot.

What turns you off?
When people ignore the elephant in the room. They know they have a problem, they know what they have to do, but they're scared, lazy, or they just don't give a damm.

What sound or noise do you love?
The sounds of the ocean when i'm laying on the beach. When I'm laying down on a blanket at the beach, I can here the sounds of the gulls, the water, the scratching of the sand, even people chattering. It's so relaxing just to listen to all of the noises swirling around.

What sound or noise do you hate?
car horns! ugh they're like instant anger!

What is your favorite curse word?
I try not to use them so i guess i don't really like any of them very much.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
If i thought i had it in me I'd like to be a screen writer. It could be fun :)

What profession would you absolutely not like to participate in?
A surgeon. I can't stand blood and gore :(

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I think a smile would be a good welcome

I've been bad...

It's just one of those things. I hate being a hypocrite, I hate being fake. This is not the real me. I'm not going to blame any one else and say that they bring out the worst in me, it's my fault. I see myself as a nice person so why do i find myself going off about someone and then cursing myself in my head. 'Why did you just say that!?', 'Why am i being like this?' ' Who are you?!!!'
I hate it i hate it i hate it! I've got to learn to hold my tongue. I totally believe that words are one of the most powerful things. So why do i use them against others? Why do I talk bad about people? It's really unsettling. This is not really news to me. I've always had a problem keeping my mouth shut and i always say the wrong things. I can't do this. I won't let myself get away with it anymore. This is not who I am. I want to be nice to people. I feel like i'm looked upon as a good person. Now i really want to be a good person.....


It's such a beautiful day :)

ehhh mug shot

i don't like my hands at all :/

what am i trying to hide behind that book??

classic myspace (this shot was not voluntarily done)

daydreaming.....

lend a hand

just watch this :) Flight of the Conchords

I was having some trouble thinking up something creative to write, so i just decided to take some creativity from youtube :D

pictures

this blog thing is so bipolar and won't load my pictures for some reason... just for the record, i tried :/

Ouch

Good news: i went to dance therefore i am NOT lazy :D

Bad news: my backside hurts sooo badly :(

Who I Am

I grew up in a house where the three constants were food, faith, and family. Yea, how corny is that... but how true as well. I am the second oldest of six, 4 girls 2boys. Shockingly enough, I've gotten along pretty well with my parents for as long as I can remember.

I come from a house where big family parties are a typical affair. My family is also big time Catholic. We go to church every Sunday and there is atleast one religious article in every room of the house. Since I was 15, I've always been involved in my church youth group to some degree. And since... forever, Catholic school has been the only school since the local public ones are not so great.

Dance has been a part of my life since I was 5. I've done the recitals and the competitions and the basketball games and it takes a lot out of you but I LOVE IT!

I have a boyfriend, Tom, and we've been going out for 3 years. I can honestly say that I've never laughed so much or learned more about myself and this is thanks to him. I love him and thank God for him everyday <3

In the future, I have many plans that I hope to accomplish. I want to hopefully get a job involved with English. I came into college wanting to be a teacher but I'm curious as to what else is out there. Hopefully someday I will get over my issues with flying and go to Italy or Australia (or both!) someday. For some reason I want to live in Boston for a year or two. I went there once and hated it but looking back on it, this hate was based on an unbalanced comparison to New York City and that's just not fair. Besides travel, I want to be married young. I'm not so into the single scene cause it sounds like it's pretty easy to get stuck there :/ Hopefully a few kids are in my future, maybe 4...or 5... :D

So this is it, my family, my religion, my love, my plans, my desires... my life <3

Yes! i remembered!

I wanted to blog about laziness. I hate it! It's like a stupid disease. First you see minor syptoms in your everyday life: 'eh, i just really don't feel like walking all the way to the garbage to throw this out'...'homework...uhm...no'. You see the major symptons when you are actually too lazy to do the stuff you like to do: 'Oh, dance at 6:30, blah blah blah, i'm just so drained after class, i'm not even going to want to be there'...'i should call people to hang out but... yea my phone is in my room, and i'm not in my room, oh well'.....I hate that i've been feeling like this lately... how easy it is to become your own worst enemy... I think very often how annoying it is when people complain about not doing well in a class and then it's like 'omg did you watch such and such last night?' or some one will mumble the all famous 'i really need to go on a diet, i'm putting on weight' in between chicken selects from mickey d's. I guess this is less about laziness and more so about lack of motivation. People are just not motivated to do things for themselves, things that will improve themselves, things that will help others, help anything! I need to take my own advice. I have dance class tomorrow and i'm going to it!

?

yea i thought of something good to blog about yesterday and i'm like 'oh yea i should totally blog about that'. I wasn't near a computer or maybe i was just too lazy and i thought 'alright i'll just blog about ____ tomorrow'. Yea, well, now it's tomorrow and I don't remember the great thing i was going to blog. What a waste :/

money money money

did i miss the part of college orientation when they stuff your pockets with money?! I've never had so much money go into and out of my hands in my life! First day of classes I go get some gas... get to class then i have to go buy books... then there's notebooks, pens, pencils, bag to put it all in, there was free gum in the bookstore though :) ... oh and you HAVE to do global learning! oh yea go to Italy for $500, yes i will admit this is cheap but so am i and poor :( ... so theres that, and i was kinda planning on going to Spain for World Youth Day in a few years but in order to save up i should be puttig away like $25 a week or something until then... lets just say i'm $150 behind. phewwwww mo money mo problems...( did i just say that??)

Calm Before the Storm

Tall trees pierce a fluffy, blue sky,
all is serene as silence goes by.
Rain and thunder have been foretold,
But this I can't believe as the sun shines gold.
I cannot imagine a hurricane tearing by
The lucid green leaves against a shy, afternoon sky.

What I'm About

JESS

Just getting by
English major
Sings loud in the car
Sick on long car trips
Interested in men
Can't stop thinking
Avid reader

I like to think and sort things out. Not so much sort things out as elaborate on things. I guess that is pretty much what is to come: elaborations.

Ongoing Assessment