Inspiration

Inspiration... inspired... to be inspired... who inspires me? Between high school essays, college applications, and other random occasion of writing, I feel I've been asked this question a million times. This should be easy. But for some reason it's not. My mom, of course. My dad, yes. I want to take it a little further.

To say that my five year old sister, Hannah, inspires me would be completely true. Kids are a weird breed. They jump around like maniacs provoked for no apparent reason. They yell when it is clearly unnecessary. They ask questions they already know the answer to. Children can sometimes be very senseless beings. But why is that? Based on what I've said so far you could probably make a case of mental instability; kids are just kids, they're crazy! And then they grow out of it.

Obviously I'm going somewhere else with this. Yes, I am inspired by my little sister because of all of the above (her craziness? no). But what does Hannah have that I don't? Or should I say what does she NOT have to that I do? Worries! She has care-free life! She can laugh, cry, sing, dance, and speak whenever she feels the need. When did I lose that? When did my childhood clock time out? When will her's?

Everyday when I come home from work or school, Hannah is home with my mom and brother. What she may do when i get home is unkown until she does it. There is no prelude. She will plunge into a story about her day, or attempt a front hand spring right at my feet, or thrust a new project at me that she completed that day. She doesn't wonder if I had a bad day at work. She could care less whether I had enough money to fill my gas tank. Hannah cares about the here and now. Just sitting there and relaxing is not an option. She is a very literal interpretation of carpe diem, SIEZE THE DAY! Seize the moment, before it's gone. A little girl like Hannah will not try to make you upset. She wants to share her experiences with you. Showing the world her self is important! In a way, she won't think about where you've been; she only cares about is where you are now.

Maybe a child is not exactly thinking in these terms. A child may be thinking me me me. But that is just it. Hannah inspires me to be care free. I should think in terms of MYSELF and not others. Who cares if i laugh when no one else does or have a different opinion. When in our lives do we forget to think for ourselves? Hannah reminds me to do that everyday.

writer's block

once there was a girl who lived in a closet.

no light, no fresh air, only daily food that sustained her.

she was locked in.

on lock-down

no crack of light invited her from the door

no way out

what is there to explore in the dark?

on lock-down

her thoughts are frozen

oh to think

to think

of what?

all is dark

all is quiet

there is nothing

to see

to feel

to smell

nothing new

have to get out

there is a door

how will she open it?

she must... think

though it seems forever since she has done this

have to get out

turn the knob

the door is no more

darkness dissipates and her eyes adjust to the new world

the barrier is gone

she sees

she feels

rain sun light color vibrancy texture soft hard green pink blue white red brown airplane car

all is beautiful when you have been in the dark for so long

my writer's block is gone....

Reading Room (NYC Library)

Tiny vibrations rattle the room,

besides that, not a thing moves.

Still eyes search books and screens,

a quest for enlightenment,

a chase for a seemingly hopeless ending,

a cramming of data into the mind.

The sheen of copper lamp shades hover over tables,

they dimly light the way to self-discovery.

hey, why not a book review?

You can't judge a book by its cover. Conveniently, I really am talking about a book. Who hasn't heard of the Stephenie Meyer series Twilight? Oh yes that is what I'm talking about. Some who read this may have just felt a flutter in their stomach at the thought of Edward Cullen. Others may have just thrown up a little bit in their mouth. Nonetheless, this is my topic. I'm going to try to even the score on this book.

Let me start by saying that I hated the Twilight books to begin with. Oh how I hated the stupid facebook bumper stickers. "Edward Cullen, BITE ME!" "I love Twilight!" Blah blah blah. Very bluntly, I thought the book sounded like the dumbest thing ever. Girl falls in love with a vampire but... he's a vampire! Whatever. They love eachother but he's going to live forever and she's not, and when is he going to suck her blood. This was my logic. I thought a stupid mainstream book like this was totally not worth my time.

Needless to say I ended up reading the first book, Twilight. I'm not going to say that I've been converted, that i've seen the light and the genius of this book. Frankly, I don't think it's a work of art or anything. No real revelations here. I'm also not saying that it sucks either. I liked it... alright, I liked it a lot :D It's is a very good book! It's good because it doesn't feel like you are reading a vampire book. i wouldn't even label it as that. It is more of a romance, a drama, an adventure. They rarely even refer to sucking blood or even use the term vampire. And I must admit that the Edward Cullen character is attractive but the mania around him is just too much.

I would recommend this book for any girl who is looking for a good, easy read. Guys may not be too psyched about it though. It did not take me that long to get through and I'm happy I did. It really did keep me turning pages. Apparently they're coming out with a movie of this book in November and I read an article that hints at sequals too. I hope you guys don't judge this book like I did because you just may be missing a good read.

haikus at west end beach....

sand in between toes

my pedicure is ruined

now one with nature

(This is about my professor)

his loafers on shore

water and sand drench his khakis

now free to create

Russo's Challenge

What is your favorite word?
In 10th grade I learned the word transcend. We were studying writers like Emerson and Thoreau who were described as Trandscendental writers. The word meant a lot for me because I had always deeply respected people who managed to rise above the norm, to beat the odds, transcend all the doubt.

What is your least favorite word?
I don't think I have one

What turns you on, excites, or inspires you creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
I'm creatively inspired by new experiences. When I try something new I like to absorb what I can and think about it a lot.

What turns you off?
When people ignore the elephant in the room. They know they have a problem, they know what they have to do, but they're scared, lazy, or they just don't give a damm.

What sound or noise do you love?
The sounds of the ocean when i'm laying on the beach. When I'm laying down on a blanket at the beach, I can here the sounds of the gulls, the water, the scratching of the sand, even people chattering. It's so relaxing just to listen to all of the noises swirling around.

What sound or noise do you hate?
car horns! ugh they're like instant anger!

What is your favorite curse word?
I try not to use them so i guess i don't really like any of them very much.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
If i thought i had it in me I'd like to be a screen writer. It could be fun :)

What profession would you absolutely not like to participate in?
A surgeon. I can't stand blood and gore :(

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I think a smile would be a good welcome

I've been bad...

It's just one of those things. I hate being a hypocrite, I hate being fake. This is not the real me. I'm not going to blame any one else and say that they bring out the worst in me, it's my fault. I see myself as a nice person so why do i find myself going off about someone and then cursing myself in my head. 'Why did you just say that!?', 'Why am i being like this?' ' Who are you?!!!'
I hate it i hate it i hate it! I've got to learn to hold my tongue. I totally believe that words are one of the most powerful things. So why do i use them against others? Why do I talk bad about people? It's really unsettling. This is not really news to me. I've always had a problem keeping my mouth shut and i always say the wrong things. I can't do this. I won't let myself get away with it anymore. This is not who I am. I want to be nice to people. I feel like i'm looked upon as a good person. Now i really want to be a good person.....


It's such a beautiful day :)

ehhh mug shot

i don't like my hands at all :/

what am i trying to hide behind that book??

classic myspace (this shot was not voluntarily done)

daydreaming.....

lend a hand

just watch this :) Flight of the Conchords

I was having some trouble thinking up something creative to write, so i just decided to take some creativity from youtube :D

pictures

this blog thing is so bipolar and won't load my pictures for some reason... just for the record, i tried :/

Ouch

Good news: i went to dance therefore i am NOT lazy :D

Bad news: my backside hurts sooo badly :(

Who I Am

I grew up in a house where the three constants were food, faith, and family. Yea, how corny is that... but how true as well. I am the second oldest of six, 4 girls 2boys. Shockingly enough, I've gotten along pretty well with my parents for as long as I can remember.

I come from a house where big family parties are a typical affair. My family is also big time Catholic. We go to church every Sunday and there is atleast one religious article in every room of the house. Since I was 15, I've always been involved in my church youth group to some degree. And since... forever, Catholic school has been the only school since the local public ones are not so great.

Dance has been a part of my life since I was 5. I've done the recitals and the competitions and the basketball games and it takes a lot out of you but I LOVE IT!

I have a boyfriend, Tom, and we've been going out for 3 years. I can honestly say that I've never laughed so much or learned more about myself and this is thanks to him. I love him and thank God for him everyday <3

In the future, I have many plans that I hope to accomplish. I want to hopefully get a job involved with English. I came into college wanting to be a teacher but I'm curious as to what else is out there. Hopefully someday I will get over my issues with flying and go to Italy or Australia (or both!) someday. For some reason I want to live in Boston for a year or two. I went there once and hated it but looking back on it, this hate was based on an unbalanced comparison to New York City and that's just not fair. Besides travel, I want to be married young. I'm not so into the single scene cause it sounds like it's pretty easy to get stuck there :/ Hopefully a few kids are in my future, maybe 4...or 5... :D

So this is it, my family, my religion, my love, my plans, my desires... my life <3

Yes! i remembered!

I wanted to blog about laziness. I hate it! It's like a stupid disease. First you see minor syptoms in your everyday life: 'eh, i just really don't feel like walking all the way to the garbage to throw this out'...'homework...uhm...no'. You see the major symptons when you are actually too lazy to do the stuff you like to do: 'Oh, dance at 6:30, blah blah blah, i'm just so drained after class, i'm not even going to want to be there'...'i should call people to hang out but... yea my phone is in my room, and i'm not in my room, oh well'.....I hate that i've been feeling like this lately... how easy it is to become your own worst enemy... I think very often how annoying it is when people complain about not doing well in a class and then it's like 'omg did you watch such and such last night?' or some one will mumble the all famous 'i really need to go on a diet, i'm putting on weight' in between chicken selects from mickey d's. I guess this is less about laziness and more so about lack of motivation. People are just not motivated to do things for themselves, things that will improve themselves, things that will help others, help anything! I need to take my own advice. I have dance class tomorrow and i'm going to it!

?

yea i thought of something good to blog about yesterday and i'm like 'oh yea i should totally blog about that'. I wasn't near a computer or maybe i was just too lazy and i thought 'alright i'll just blog about ____ tomorrow'. Yea, well, now it's tomorrow and I don't remember the great thing i was going to blog. What a waste :/

money money money

did i miss the part of college orientation when they stuff your pockets with money?! I've never had so much money go into and out of my hands in my life! First day of classes I go get some gas... get to class then i have to go buy books... then there's notebooks, pens, pencils, bag to put it all in, there was free gum in the bookstore though :) ... oh and you HAVE to do global learning! oh yea go to Italy for $500, yes i will admit this is cheap but so am i and poor :( ... so theres that, and i was kinda planning on going to Spain for World Youth Day in a few years but in order to save up i should be puttig away like $25 a week or something until then... lets just say i'm $150 behind. phewwwww mo money mo problems...( did i just say that??)

Calm Before the Storm

Tall trees pierce a fluffy, blue sky,
all is serene as silence goes by.
Rain and thunder have been foretold,
But this I can't believe as the sun shines gold.
I cannot imagine a hurricane tearing by
The lucid green leaves against a shy, afternoon sky.

What I'm About

JESS

Just getting by
English major
Sings loud in the car
Sick on long car trips
Interested in men
Can't stop thinking
Avid reader

I like to think and sort things out. Not so much sort things out as elaborate on things. I guess that is pretty much what is to come: elaborations.

Ongoing Assessment